Seven years ago I saw your face and instantly thought this is it .Whatever happens you come first. So this year I put this promise into practice more than ever.
Mummy & Daddy decided to continue to homeschool as you were struggling with anxiety and confidence issues and seemed so deeply unhappy with school.
At first I struggled as I felt that I was not conforming to the norm of sending you off at 9:00 am like every other mother and their child. I personally loved primary education so thought I maybe just being overprotective. But then remembered all my teacher training and observations in previous jobs. Sometimes school is not for everyone and if I can offer you something else untill you feel ready then I will move the earth to ensure I can. Balancing self employment, being your mum and now full time teacher has not been easy.
People have questioned our reasons and looked in their polite dissaproving ways. But they didn't watch you sob every day refusing to leave or how you would cry on a Sunday evening knowing the next day was Monday. As a parent observe your super bright spark start to dull and effect your confidence.
So I commited to my decision and we have worked so hard together creating a daily routine. Yes sometimes I cry and sometimes you do, but we have achieved so very much. I have never seen you as happy as you have been this year. Your confidence has grown, you love reading Roald Dahl books infact any books you are a real bookworm. Every year I mention how bright you are , but my goodness you have shone this year. I spend most days in pure admiration of you. You shine brighter each day. You are so technically minded now completing programming with daddy and whilst writing this you have just built your own computer. I still do not even know what is in a computer :) I know Daddy is so so proud he could burst that you love all the things he does.
I think what I admire most about you my darling is that you can do anything, you are fearless and brave. This year of being yourself you truly know what you like and dont like without feeling pressurised to be something else. You know your not keen on Barbies and dolls but more climbing and diving. You like dressing up and singing and performing. But love to sit quietly and read to yourself or write one of your many stories.
This year you wanted to try on mummies wedding dress, so I said yes. I will never forget your face when you put it on you radiated such joy. You looked in the mirror and said "wow!! I look like a princess, but Im never getting married " . You then asked me to wear it so I did, you cried and said mummy I love you , you look beautiful. We both had a little cry and went to get cake ( not in the dress ). That moment will stay with me for the rest of my life as I have never seen you look at me that way before.
You come to me or daddy with almost everything. When your worried, when you need help, when you feel scared or just need reassurance. I hope you always know whatever life throws your way or whatever big emotions you feel . That we will be here for you always to help, guide and protect you .
This year you have been cat obsessed or as you say when anyone comments on your love for cats " Im actually a feline enthusiast" you love writing cat stories and currently you have written nine cat books with full illustrations. Photography is still a passion and you love going out with your camera and now video recording making your own nature shows with full commentary.
Every minute is filled with singing and dancing, the shower, in bed, on the trampoline you sing everywhere . From Red hot chilli peppers to Billy Joel to music in the charts. Music really does have a huge impact on you and you love it.
Your love of animals has extended to your new best friend Laika, you guys spend hours playing outdoors . But also horses and watching Spirit and every penny you recieve you pop in your piggy bank as you are saving for your own farm where you can have your own barns with horses.
You got your first proper diving suit this year and you and daddy love going out into the sea, watching your confidence in the water is so inspiring you are such a mermaid. You love everything about the sea and understand the dangers , which you happily educate your friends about.
This year you have continued your strong friendships with Alaw & Hannah hearing you girls giggle and play is just wonderful. Your complete admiration for your cousin Marnie and watching you girls sit like grown women having a good old chat about everything. Not forgetting Cody & Archie where the boy girl teasing has started but you all love each other so dearly. I love that you have such special bonds.
Harry Potter is a big love also this year you wake up super early to run to daddy snuggle in bed to read whats happening next. You hang on every word and then come to tell me whats happened. Its so adorable.
Seven is a strange time as your mummy, I can start to see the flickers of the teenager you may become. You show signs of some sassy behaviour. We have had some slamming doors and real rollercoaster emotions. It scares me, I am not afraid to admit as I am struggling to see you as a little girl, you are still my tiny baby. I tear up all the time when i get lost in images and videos of years gone by, Being your mummy has been the hardest but best experience of my life and it seems to get quicker by the days. But every year i grow a deeper love of the little person you are becoming.
Your kindness, sassy and sometimes arguementative behaviours will all lead to big things i know.
Like every year since you were born at 11:57 pm.Last night I lay next to you whilst you slept and kissed you on your head the exact moment you were born seven years ago and the first thing I did.
For the rest of my days and as long as you allow I want you to start your next year of adventure knowing how much i love you.
My little darling, you be you!! continue to shine and be brave enough to say no to what you dont like and grab for what you do love. Never be afraid .
Mummy & Daddy love you so much XxXxxx